POSTS  2014



Some messes are best un-made.  Some are essential to growth... including those best un-made.




I am fascinated by complexity and often preoccupied with its power... but I keep learning that simple and clear accomplishes the most urgent tasks.


This is a great U2 song and video.  I think it has to do with the discovery of VOICE in relationship with our parents.  Simply and beautifully stated.

A Telegram Without Periods

(For Connie)

(06-07-08 Revised 02-14-13)


Don't Stop



In the Dance
Don't Stop


Each next step

Represents all our as yet un-stepped steps
Don't Stop

There is time for

Telling me
Who you are
Don't Stop


I will
Dance the next step
Toward you
Don't Stop


There is time for

Telling you
Who I am
Don't Stop


Love is proven

In our final

Dancing steps

Don't Stop


All lasting meaning

Clinging to who we are

Don't Stop


.                 Now

No Thread To Cut

(For all)



Forces more powerful than our voiceless

Toiling beneath demigods

Our row to hoe un-remembered by the living


Discounted mortal threads spun in our billions

Meant for Fateful cuttings at poignant unrecorded moments

How fine or coarse or if cloth spun

Or our allotment timely or too soon... severed?


No witness to the gathering the spinning the allotting the cutting

No one to watch as sight

Stretched meaningless and timeless vanishes


But they say the last song was bittersweet


As first through final chords

Sung into fugue as our ultimate sailor in time

Snatched the three Moirai and all their spun and cut portions


Their ululating arias weaving a final maelstrom

Undoing all music all space all time


All fates unwound as if unlived

Vanished on the cooling floor of timelessness


Where stretched meaninglessly...

Even our three ladies forgotten

No thread to cut




















Cinimagraph of innocent women spinning and weaving.


See the story of the Myth of the Moirai at Wikipedia:   Moirai






    God... please help me be aware of my complexity so I have a chance to interrupt it.

    God... please help me be aware of my shame so I have a chance to interrupt it.

    God... when I notice my self abuse please give me the energy to interrupt it and replace it with affirmation.

    God... please help me be aware of my feelings so I can know what I need so I can make plans based on the gift of your reality.





    I can choose to notice my complexity, interrupt it and replace it.

    I can choose to notice my shame, interrupt it and replace it.

    I can choose to notice my self abuse, interrupt it and replace it.

    I can choose to notice trouble, disengage from it and take a five step self time out.

    ​I can choose to remember that simple plans that work simply, only come from actual feelings and actual needs




Each prayer and each affirmation said to yourself or out loud 5 times.


Do these prayers and affirmations upon waking, at breakfast, lunch and dinner and at bed time.  Do them 5 times each day.  For a total of (5 prayers + 5 affirmations = 10 X 5 said five times each = ​​25 X 5 done times a day = 125 for a TOTAL of 125 prayers and affirmations each day.


​Over months and years you can change these affirmations and prayers out for other more relevant ones as your acting-out and therefore your self-support needs change,.


Very Good Job!


Chuck                                           AFFIRMATION STRUCTURES


Feelings just happen?

Like when I sit in a room and am not aware that the thermostat failed to turn the heater on.  Then I begin to experience my cooling skin.


FEELINGS JUST HAPPEN ...Except when I choose to allow distraction when I am cooking, I touch the hot pan, and now I have the pain of a burn.  Did that feeling just happen?


FEELINGS JUST HAPPEN ...Except  when I repeatedly violate my beloved's boundaries and I feel a terrible loss when she chooses to go away forever.  Did that feeling just happen?


   - Thoughts are choices.  (Plans)

   - Choices create consequences.

   - Consequences create Feelings and Needs.

   - The way I feel in this moment is the data I need to make a plan that can work better.

    - No one knows what my body is feeling in response to my current consequences but me.

    - No one can help me use my bodies feelings to make a plan that will have better consequences.

    - My body knows what I feel and need.  So I can choose to make a better plan.




I don't "have to" keep thinking about the dog who is scratching on the door needing to get out and as I sit there feeling sorry for myself and feeling pushed around by the situation get mad at the dog for "making it so I have to get up".


I have a choice to make a plan of getting up and letting him out and then doing that plan and then experience the relief of being able to focus on the next things I become aware of...


I can choose to not let him out... which is a choice to continue focusing on the scratching dog.  My anxiety and my impulsiveness will increase.  I am choosing to have a lengthening list of consequences.


When my thinking creates plans that do not work....  and then my thinking creates  a plan to keep doing the plan that doesn't work.... what the heck am I up to?


Anxiety increases impulsiveness.  Impulsive plans (which are like a role of the dice) seldom work at all but never work over time.  Anxiety continues to increase.  This approach inevitably leads to panic.  Panic is the rising awareness that my focus on the negative and the impossible is becoming so absolute that there is no hope.  Consequences are becoming overwhelming and I am failing and falling into catastrophe. (From the Greek word meaning:  to overturn.)


So perhaps I have overturned my own life because (I think, I believe, I have FAITH in the idea that) I am unable to change my focus.


What if I make a choice today and every day to tell my self over and over (when I wake up and then at breakfast, lunch, dinner and at bedtime):


   - I can choose to notice when I am  using a plan that won't work.

   - I can choose to change any plan that isn't working.

   - I can choose to remember that other people's choices can not make me feel better.

   - I can choose to remember I have choice where I point my focus.


If I say each of these Affirmations (or any four well formed affirmations.) 4 times each, then 4 X 4 = 16 affirmations.   And then if I do this set of Affirmations 5 times each day...   16 X 5 = 80.


I will be saying 80 affirmations a day. 560 each week. 29,120 each year.


When humans around the world do this kind of thing they always begin to move out of panic because they are more aware of their feelings and needs which means their thinking mind has the information needed to make better plans and do better plans.



© All Rights Reserved

Chuck Britt, MA, LMFT and Connie Bonner-Britt, MA, LMHC


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